Mornings are getting so hard anymore.  The stiffness and pain in my joints and body are sometimes so overwhelming. It would seem that pain is always on my mind. I hate it, I hate the control that pain and what ever it is that ails me , has , it has taken over so much of my life. Every day pain is the background noise of my day to day life, I try not to let it overwhelm me , but some/most days it does.  It would seem that All  OF MY JOINTS are affected , my neck and spine, apparently I have nerve pinched in neck and low back, at night my arms fall asleep which is normal sometimes, but theses last few months it is extreem and when I try to wake my arms and hands up the pain is almost unbearable and it really seems to affect my big thumbs the most with pain shooting all the way to the shoulders. and then the sciatic pain going down my legs is like someone poking me with a hot poker, this has been going on for about 5 years now , along with the arthritis in those hip and knee joints as well,Sometimes I feel like it has really diminshed  the quality of my life alot, it seems especially these last few years.  I just can not do what I did a year ago, not that I did much but what little I did do  is so much less now.Any hoo  in my day to day life Mornings are a bitch, but  by mid morning I feel a little less over whelmed  and more human and bearable,after a cup or 2 of coffee, breakfast and good old Grandfather Sun,and my pain meds and vitamins, then the pain and stiffness seems to be background noise, it is there but I can think and do other things without it hindering me, then by late afternoon and many miles down the road, it again takes control of my day. Bed time I am  really looking forwards to, but by midnight it is no longer my friend, and pain again has taken over, and becomes the unwanted guest the rest of the night.

I don't know how people who are worse off than me do it. My pain is not unbearable it ranges in the upper low to middle range of the scale of 1 being least and 10 being Most extreme , my pain is around 3 or 4 when I call it 'background noise' and 5-8 when it takes over. People dealing with disease and cancer I know are in the 9's to 15 scale on the 1 -10 pain scale, and how some of these people can still be inspirations is beyond me. I find these people to be awesome individuals, and I look up to them with much admiration as they live their most heroic journey. I would like to know what makes these people tic.

I found a neat picture called 'Pain' that rigthly sums up what it looks like to me. The red looking net is what I call the pain that is backgrown noise,  range of 3-4 the pain that I have generally all over but is not to the point of having to take a pain pill, I can tolerate it and  it never goes away, sometimes you can get busy and forget it but it is still there. The Orange lightning is the pain that is in the range of 5to6 I need pain pill but I can still do what I need to do each day. the next color is Lime green it is the pain that is 7-9, the pain that makes life alot more difficult and the 'poor ole me's' comes to play..then you have the White it is the 9 and above and this takes over ones life , pain like 'labor pains' major trauma pain , broken bones, cancer etc.

We all have our own particular 'teachers' in life and  one of my many teachers  is chronic pain  of arthritis and 'fms' and sometimes I learn and sometimes I cry da blues and have a pity party until I remember that there are others so much worse off than I and brings me back to my senses , and reminds me to be thankful 'for ' all situations  for I am never out of 'purpose' in my life for its 'all of life 'that is the purpose.I am here to experience it all and pain and disease is a part of the all in this age.'

My goal or purpose  that I have chosen in my life is to be a ray of sunshine for others, to be an encourager, and to be up lifting , not to bogg down others with my personal problems. I am not seeking a pitty partner here, just letting others whose teacher is pain, know that I am here and can understand  a little more than others what one has to deal with each day, and to let them know they have a listening ear here.

blessings be, be a blessing